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Reluctant Gods

by Isaac John

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1.
You walk out of your corner flat, into the rain without a care. You may try and make it right again. But old wounds don't heal, this daydream's real. You lie in the city that sleeps at night. All those daydreams, you don't even see, what it's come to, you have flown through. You lie in the city that sleeps at night.
2.
There are times I can't believe my eyes. What is the damage done this time? What kind of mess did I make? Is there nowhere left to hide? The masquerade of every living day, sick and tired of a half life. Can the storm ever shelter me? Shelter me... All these bitter aches, and silent nights, with no end in sight, you know, I tried to believe. (The god of funeral fires, I will burn this down) I revoke my name as a god, as my only destiny, to bring pain and violence on friends and family, I tried to save but these arms are empty. You know, I tried to believe. (The god of funeral fires, I will burn this down) Is it ever worth the pain it caused? Are the wounds worth healing? Are my words as bad as yours? Do they even have meaning? There are times I can't believe my eyes. What is the damage done this time? Can this bitterness be overcome? Overcome... I revoke my name as a god, as my only destiny, to bring pain and violence on friends and family, I tried to save but these arms are empty. You know, I tried to believe. I invoke my name as a god, as my only destiny. I invoke my own will and testimony. I am all I am and maybe ever be. These arms are empty but free.
3.
You keep your pain locked and safe away. There's nothing to complain about the state you're in right now. You keep your time locked inside your mind. There's nothing to explain about, you're safe and sound. But you've got a heavy hand... A heavier heart... You had your plans, but who could understand? Is there any way to say the things you know you need right now? And how could it be that every time you dream, there's no one else you think about to play them out. But you've got a heavy hand... A heavier heart...
4.
Burn the bridges. Pin it on me, if you want. Lord knows that my hands are filled with dirt, but the soot and the ash are all yours. There's nothing to say, as the smoke fills our lungs. My eyes are drowning from the same damn tears, I seem to cry every time. I am not the one to blame, for what you've left in flames. Not to stifle all your aims, or play these childish games. Burn the bridges, salt the earth. Make them hurt the way you've hurt. But in the end, dear, you'll be the only one left...in the world. Throw the first stone. Shatter my window, break my door. Taunt me in my cowardice. While you seethe in your house made of glass. I can't be the only one to try, to set their pride aside. I am not your Atlas wry. Throw the stone sky high. Burn the bridges, salt the earth. Make them hurt the way you've hurt. But in the end, dear, you'll be the only one left...in the world.
5.
Weapon 05:36
Break your bones, dear. The blood won't dry your tears.
6.
The Motions 04:21
The motions, are making me sick. Emotion, telling me it's time to quit. Erosion, of who I thought I'd be. The motions. I let loose my grip. And the ship sways back and forth, while the storm it rages on. And my body starts to bend, I feel it break down to the floor. So they say, we all die the way we came, just going through the motions, going through the motions, of another life. A notion, what keeps me hanging on? Devotion, to the life I've made my own. Solution leave what I thought I'd be, in the motions, and become what I need. And the ship sways back and forth, while the storm it rages on. And my body starts to bend, I feel it break down to the floor. So they say, we all die the way we came, just going through the motions, going through the motions, of another life.
7.
I tried millions of ways to believe. But now in the absence of pain I find relief. The plans and the pages all torn, left me weak. But now that the storm has all cleared, I can finally see. But still some nights between the seams, spirits and specters haunt my dreams. It's just the ghost of who I thought I'd be. Smelling the smoke he burned from the leaves. I can't say why he comes out at night, when the world he sees look nothing much like I thought it'd be. So the wind in my sails flows full towards the east. And the air that I'm smelling is sweet with possibility. The old world left in the past, to memory. And possible futures all fade into reverie. Though all the voices seem to blend, to ghastly whispers in my head. It's just the ghost of who I thought I'd be. Breathing the air of false disbelief. I can't say why he comes out at night, when the world he sees looks nothing much like I thought it'd be. I thought I'd be... So the wind in my sails flows full towards the east. And now that the storm has all cleared, I can finally see.
8.

about

The Fifth Album by Isaac John

It's been a long time coming. These songs document some of the most difficult years of my life and find me trying to make sense of it. This album is dark, but ultimately hopeful. It is music about growth. It is music about facing your shortcomings, and finding the strength within your weaknesses. It is music about learning from the end of one phase of life and starting another.

Though the listener should never accept any words as facts. Truths, fictions, and metaphors all exist in these songs, and even I'm a little lost at times trying to pry them apart. As all my favorite music is, you can interpret what you want from it.

I want to thank everyone who has supported me in the past year and made this album possible. Specific shout-outs to my good friends Bryant, Sam, Rachel, and Brandon for getting me through this year. And of course, thank you to the amazing Aaron Cole for his incredible drumming, and to Isabel Boike and Victor Malles for collaborating to create the striking artwork for the album.

credits

released October 15, 2021

all songs written by Isaac John

vocals, guitar, bass, violin, piano, ambience, and programmed percussion performed by Isaac John

live drums and percussion performed by Aaron Cole (Instagram: @AaronColeDrummer)

cover artwork created by Victor Malles and Isabel Boike (www.lionartcreations.shootproof.com)

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about

Isaac John Minnesota

Isaac John is musician from St. Paul, MN. His most recent album, Reluctant Gods, pulls from dream pop, post-rock, and singer-songwriter styles to craft a sound all his own.

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